There can be No Democracy with Narcissistic Leaders
Narcissistic leaders in progressive political spaces.
They exist. No, it’s more than that, they are over-represented in our leaderships. They lead our unions, they lead political groups, they lead community organizations, they lead our progressive churches and faith communities.
And guys, they are poisoning us.
It’s not unexpected that people with strong narcissistic traits would be drawn to leadership roles in any setting that will have them. The Left, unfortunately, has not acknowledged this reality and has done little, if anything, to curb their power.
But here’s the thing. Democracy simply cannot flourish around Narcissists. And if we strive to build truly democratic structures in order to usher in a new, Socialist society, we MUST address the issue of Narcissism in our ranks.
What is Narcissism?
There are actually quite a few different types of Narcissism, but the common traits that unite all Narcissists are: an over-exaggerated sense of superiority, a lack of empathy, a serious sense of entitlement, and the tendency to see others as a source of “supply”, or objects to be used and exploited or discarded when they are no longer needed. Narcissists also enlist the use of “flying monkeys”-groups of lackeys who are either too smitten with or too afraid of the Narcissistic Leaders to question their actions. Beneath all the bravado, Narcissists are actually very damaged and fragile people. And unfortunately, these broken people are much more likely to manipulate, retaliate, belittle/devalue others’ ideas or opinions, gaslight, and use emotional abuse tactics to maintain control at any cost.
People with strong narcissistic traits are naturally drawn to all kinds of roles associated with power, prestige, and glory. They can be found throughout the Halls of Political Power, all the way to the White House to the Narcissist in Chief himself. They are often found in the ministry or other faith leaders. They are drawn to Big Business where their ruthlessness and lack of empathy is rewarded by promotions and money. CEOs are very often strong on the narcissism scale. The are all over celebrity culture, which helps explain the mind-boggling scandals we’ve seen emerge in the #MeToo era.
Narcissism and the Left
But narcissist leaders present a unique challenge for the Left.
The Left, by its nature, is supposed to be about ending oppression and exploitation, about creating democratic, communal governance, about lifting the voices of the historically marginalized.
And we will never be able to create that society as long as we allow narcissists to lead us.
First of all, narcissists see others, whether individuals or organizations/movements, as objects to be manipulated and used as needed. Given their overblown sense of superiority, it makes sense to narcissists to play puppet master with movements and organizations. These are the people who believe in back-door political dealing orchestrated personally, top-down decision-making, and the shutting out of the “lesser” voices of the masses.
Yeah, that’s not Democracy.
Narcissism is fundamentally about control. It’s about maintaining power over others and having no empathy for any damage or hurt done to others in pursuit of that power. To Narcissists, everything is black or white. There are no shades of gray, which is problematic when we are discussing complicated, controversial, political ideas and tactics. You are either with the narcissist or against them. No in-between.
Oh you don’t agree with a resolution brought to your union? You must be a right-wing fascist. You question your Socialist group’s tactics? You are a traitor to the cause. You have a critique of some aspect of current lefty political trends? You must be a ____ (insert whatever term works: racist, sexist, classist, Capitalist, Imperialist, race-traitor, etc.)
Narcissist leaders have no desire to listen to multiple perspectives, to engage in real debate, and make informed communal decisions. Everything is personal and any questioning is seen as betrayal. And so they squash any and every attempt at real democracy in our political spaces. They must remain in control and they feel justified in doing so because they cannot believe anyone else could be as brilliant and politically savvy as themselves. They may use their flying monkeys to get to mics/media and make their case, they may intimidate or belittle anyone who stands up against them, they may start a smear campaign to tarnish a dissenter’s character and motives, they may gaslight others into thinking that any problems or concerns are unjustified or unimportant, or even not real at all. And soon, everyone in that space learns to not cross the narcissists. People are afraid to voice concerns, to disagree in any way shape or form. And suddenly, your “democratic” organizations are simply rubber stamps for the narcissist in power.
Narcissists also have a tendency to be able to put on an extremely charismatic and charming false persona in order to lure people to their cause. This is where the crossover of cults and politics is perhaps seen most clearly. Charismatic speeches, excellent networking skills, playing the part of a righteous truth-teller. They may be fantastic in front of the media. They may have a fan club of loyalists who would never question anything they say or do. And when dissent comes, they portray themselves as the victim, even when they are engaging in vicious and soul-crushing emotional abuse to anyone who dares defy them. They are talented actors.
Of course, that false persona is impossible to maintain indefinitely. And this is where the toxicity comes out, often behind closed doors amongst the inner-circles of progressive leaderships. To the world, the narcissistic is perfect, maybe even exulted or revered. But to those closest to the leaders, their world is full of manipulation, lies, silencing, gaslighting, and emotional trauma. This is not OK.
So what do we do?
The first step is to educate ourselves on narcissism and be vigilant when we see it appear in our political spaces. Is there a brewing toxicity in your political group? Are people afraid to speak up? Do you feel belittled or devalued when you ask questions or raise a concern? Are all decisions made at the top of an organization without any real chance for those outside leadership to influence outcomes? Do debates feel like flat, one-dimensional exercises in bureaucracy?
Watch for any political dissenters that are shut down and then forced to fade away from political life until your “progressive, democratic” space feels like a scripted play, not an organic, messy, complicated place for debate and growth.
And do not become a “flying monkey”. Be careful to align your work with a quest for truth and authenticity, the betterment of a movement, and maintains values of humanity and respect to all, regardless of political views. If you start to feel like a groupie, like the personality of the leadership, and protecting those individuals, becomes more important than the cause itself, you might have fallen in line with a narcissistic leader. And if you end up participating in harming others to placate the narcissist leaders, please go back and attempt to repair that damage. Do not participate in the smear campaigns. Defend the humanity of all members of your spaces. And uphold the right to dissent, even when you don’t agree.
Anticipate that people with narcissistic tendencies will be drawn to power so prepare checks and balances in your organization that prevent this type of person to take control. Build in ways to maintain democracy in your spaces, regardless of who ends up in leadership positions.
Having been in Lefty spaces now for some years, I truly and deeply believe that narcissists are ruining our ability to create the multi-racial, working class, democratic organizations needed to fight the bosses, to fight the bankers, to fight the rich and their politicians, to fight Capitalism.
Let’s keep working to build truly healthy, democratic, inclusive political spaces. Together. Unlike what the narcissists believe, we cannot do this alone.
